3 thoughts on “Weekend Quickie #232

  1. “Well, looks like I’m stuck on this patch of ice for while,” said Percy the polar bear.
    “So ’in-con-tro-vert-ti-bil-lit-tily’ true, my friend, so ’in-con-tro-vert-ti-bil-lit-tily’ true,” said Bernard the penguin.
    Percy gazed across the flat surface of the freezing sea. Not a soul for miles, not an iceberg to be seen.
    “If only I had a feather pillow, I could rest so peacefully here. But now, with my stomach so empty all I can dream about is my next meal.” Percy sat down on his hind legs and sighed.
    “Yes, but you could, of course, swim around and catch some fish,” mentioned Bernard, jumping into the cold water and floating on his back.
    “I could if I wanted to,” said Percy, “but I’m really not up to swimming at the moment. I don’t feel so well.” With a frown, Percy lay his head on the ice.
    “Well, that’s all very well and good, my friend, but you know what your biggest problem is?” asked Bernard, sliding back onto the small ice patch and smiling.
    “What’s that?”
    “Polar bears live in the North Pole and penguins in the South.” Bernard disappeared with a *pop*, leaving Percy alone.
    “Oh yes, there is that.”

  2. He who laughs Last …

    Polar bear was hungry. It was late winter and game was scarce as the ice pack was beginning to break up. Scouting the outer fringes of the ice for anything to eat, Polar bear came upon a seal with a dead seagull. As Polar bear ran up and cornered the seal, the ice sheet they were on broke free and began floating out to sea. Polar bear laughed as he was about to devour seal. But seal spoke urgently, “Eat me if you must, but if I die, the secret dies with me.” Polar became curious, “What secret?” Seal smiled, “Oh, the secret of the most wonderful pillow known to man or beast.” Polar bear scoffed, “Pillow!? What use have I for a pillow?” Seal squinted and looked side to side as he whispered, “You have no idea how restful a feather pillow can be, my friend. Seal took the seagull and laid it on the ice, fluffed it up a little and continued, “Lay your head here, my friend, and find out.” Polar bear sauntered over and laid his head on the feathery bird. Oh, it was the warmest, coziest experience he had ever felt. Seal’s claim was incontrovertible; so much so that he closed his eyes for just a second. Seal laughed as he dove into the sea and swam away.

    Polar bear stayed calm. Turning back to his pillow, he laughed last as he ate the seagull. It wasn’t much, but it provided enough energy to help him go find a seal to eat.

  3. Simple

    Sammy Franco, was as big as a polar bear and he had a simple, animal-like way of doing things. Equally adept at tossing pennies with the neighborhood kids as he was at snapping some poor dopes neck. His massive hands with thick, squared-off fingers made short work of anyone the Outfit deemed a complication.

    Lots of guys got fancy ideas about killing. Not Sammy, he kept things simple. He understood replacing a problem with a bigger problem wasn’t a solution. A steak knife pulled from the dirty dishes in the kitchen sink, an electrical cord from a bedside lamp or a pipe wrench from under the bathroom sink, whatever was at hand, he’d grab it and use it to whack someone.

    A bellhop had seen Burton Koessler, an outfit associate, clipped by the Feds coming out of the Park Central Hotel, so he dropped a dime. Koessler never made mention of it so the outfit smelled a rat and Sammy was asked to pay him a visit.

    In the pale light of the upstairs bedroom Sammy Franco stepped out of the shadows and stood over Koessler and his wife as they slept. A fluffy feather pillow in each monstrous hand. Downstairs a clock chimed softly and Sammy lowered the pillows down over their faces, smiling to himself at the incontrovertibility of it all.

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