4 thoughts on “Weekend Quickie #114 Sunday Edition

  1. NOW with added ‘missing baby’ 🙂

    Jenna left the oven on when she took out the roadkill. It wasn’t her fault, what with her redneck brother’s moonshine mix of kerosene and rubbing alcohol churning around inside her gut. We found her in the nick of time, flat on her back, the place full of gas, both from herself and the oven, and singing Blake Sheldon’s “Boys ‘Round Here”. Slightly out of tune, I might add. But completely understandable. The news of her missing baby was all across the trailer park.

  2. “Jenna left the oven on warm with two pizza slices in it. I dressed up, ate pizza, got into my jeep, drove real slow, wasn’t in any hurry, you see?”

    “Go on.”

    “Went in at the local pub, what’s it called? ‘The Red Frog’. Chilled out, drank tequila. Somebody should have seen me.”

    “Everybody refused to talk. You sure it was ‘The Red Frog’?”

    “I go there to get drunk, not to check names. Wait! I remember the songs that were playing. Boys ‘round here by Blake Shelton, and Kerosene by Miranda Lambert, and something of Pitbull, I think.”

    “Doesn’t prove anything. Anybody could have told you what songs were played. Your slow drive! Even if you went to that pub, ‘The Blue Frog’, not red, you had enough time to do it before going there.”

    Silence.

    “Listen, I am your lawyer, and I want you to get off, but everything is against you. The baby that has been missing for a week is found in YOUR house, next to him is YOUR girlfriend, both dead from overdose of rubbing alcohol which YOU bought yesterday. Couldn’t have been worse!” He got up and left.

  3. Newsworthy
    Danielle Lee Zwissler
    Jenna left the oven on while she went upstairs and finished getting ready. Blake Shelton’s ‘Boys ‘round here’ was playing on the radio. She swayed her hips back and forth to the beat. She had meatloaf cooking and was anxiously awaiting her boyfriend’s arrival.
    “And we break this song for an important announcement—a baby is missing. Her name is….” The news woman announced. Jenna was worried for the kid, but once again her day had been interrupted, and to do it during Shelton’s number one hit was sacrilege. She went back downstairs. The smells of the meatloaf wafted through the air. Jenna sighed as she wondered about the baby that was missing. She hoped that nothing bad would happen to her.
    Kerosene came on next, it was a song sung by Miranda Lambert, Blake’s wife. Jenna put on her oven mits as the timer went off, only to be interrupted by the news again. “You have got to be kidding me!” Jenna cried.
    “The baby was found. False alarm. She was in the bedroom sleeping the whole time.”
    Jenna rolled her eyes. The people on the news were freaking morons. Ugh!
    Just then, Jenna took off her oven mits and placed them back in the drawer. When she turned around, she bumped the oven door with her hip, burning her skin.
    “Damn!”
    The door opened. Her boyfriend walked in. “It smells great in here!” He looked at Jenna and grinned until he saw the spot on her side. “You should put some rubbing alcohol on that!”

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