The Iron Writer Challenge #9
2013 Iron Writer Summer Solstice Challenge #9
500 Words, 5 Days, 4 Elements
A pregnant camel
A roller coaster
A sunken ship
Kyle B. Stiff
Operation: Pregnant Camel reached its finale when the battleship Amen crossed the furthest reaches of deep space and dropped its deadly payload: The Space Marines of Xe Company, bringers of death and freedom to every once-habitable world in a universe filled with sentient beings too stupid to accept the corporate hegemony of the Republic without endless orbital nukes and groundside invasions.
Commander Dahmer stood before his men at the entrance of a cavern on the dark world of Therion Prime. “Alright ladies and girls,” he said to his all-male battalion, “we’ve done a lot of awesome shit in our day and conquered every goddamn world and every shitty species we’ve come across – except this one. Now I know you dickheads have been real sore that every planet we’ve come across has been inhabited by fuckers that look exactly like us. I’ll be the first to admit that exploring space has turned out boring as fuck. We’ve all seen Star Wars and shit like that, and I know you signed up because you thought you’d meet some Ewoks. You wanted to see an Ewok and shake his hand and roast a hot dog with him, but instead we’ve had to deal with humanoid dumbasses who think they can run their affairs without the Republic. We’ve had to kill insubordinate cock-smokers all the way from Kandanaru to Eleseia. But this is it, boys! Once we conquer this shit-hole, we can retire like heroes! Can I get a HOO-AH?!”
After Commander Dahmer received his shouts of hoo-ah, he gazed heavenward and said, “I’ll never forget when I signed up. I was on that rollercoaster on Orbus … you know, the one that goes upside down and jerks you back and forth for forty-five minutes?”
“I shit myself on that one, sir!”
“So did I, son! In fact, when I stepped off that bastard I said to myself, I said, ‘There’s got to be more to life than unrequited bloodlust and a pair of ruined pants.’ So I signed on, had my weak-ass childhood memories erased, and before long I was balls-deep in medals. Well… I don’t have shit else to say except hoo-ah, so let’s move.”
The marines loaded their firearms and entered the cavern. They passed through halls of deep darkness and felt dread, the sense of drowning in a cramped, sunken steel ship. They came to a black chamber and heard creatures singing, but they could not look because their eyes were glued to a giant loom atop a grand stage. Clack rang the steel shuttle, and the Commander saw human lives written in the shining thread, alive and humming and full of light. He saw humans killing humans, their fates woven by the hand of the master weaver. His arm moved and something cold pressed against his head. He forced his eyes to look upon the one who worked the loom. He saw a face pale and frozen, and the eyes were like pits, alien and empty of conscience.
She walked through the crowded fairgrounds and looked for anyone she might know. She wasn’t having much luck, but shrugged it off as being too early in the day for them and got in line for what she thought was The Twister. It wasn’t and she had not realized it in all the excitement until she was strapped into The Tornado rollercoaster next to a really good looking guy, who smiled at her.
She hated rollercoasters, she was terrified of heights but it was already too late to get off because they were moving up the rickety looking rails. As they climbed she began to shake and had a grip on the bar so tight that her hands were white.
She watched as the rode higher and higher into the sky and then began to plummet towards a sharp turn. That would be all she would see before she passed out and had to be shaken awake by the handsome stranger.
That was embarrassing but at least she had not broken something. She exited with her head held high after apologizing to the man and made her way to the petting zoo area. Surely she could watch the animals and not get hurt or do something equally embarrassing. She looked around for anyone she might know and it was odd that she recognized no one in the small fairground.
She walked past the fake sunken ship that all the little kids were riding up and down in a painted blue wooden sea and stopped in front of the petting zoo and leaned against the rail. A little girl was inside the small coral feeding a little pigmy goat, when a large furry animal leaned over the fence and brushed against her.
Startled she turned to face the animal and stared into the face of a very pregnant camel. She opened her mouth to say hello to the soft tan colored animal when it suddenly spit directly at her. Thankfully the handsome man from earlier pulled her away from the beast just in time to miss getting camel spit all over her.
He invited her to a fun house tent and she followed him warily still peering through the crowd for someone she knew. Still nothing but she reached into her small purse and took out her mace just in case she needed it. Inside was a large loom like contraption. He pointed at it and whispered, “Go ahead walk through the strings.” As I stepped through into a huge garden, I heard him say, “You don’t belong in this world.”
I turned abruptly only to see that the tent was gone, in its place was the handsome man who winked at me. “Where am I? She whispered.
“You have come to Fairy, Welcome home Grace.” He took my hand and I took it as I looked over my shoulder more curious now than ever how exactly that large loom brought me here.
“Is this a dream?”
Her stomach wanted nothing more than to eject its contents.
Why she had agreed to go on the roller coaster was beyond her understanding. Being far away from home, on holiday, free from responsibility and ready to experience life, were her only excuses.
Going on the ride had seemed like a good idea at the time. Something she could boast about when she got home. Just like that awful ride on the grumpy camel in Egypt. It had bitten her as she got off. It hadn’t been a good experience for her or the pregnant camel!
The roller coaster finally stopped and Melissa stumbled out, her head spinning. She sat down on the closest seat, waiting for the world to stop moving.
When she felt better she got up and wandered past the Gun’n’Duck and the Dodgem cars. The crowd was noisy and everyone seemed to be with a boyfriend or family. Somehow the adventure of being in another country all alone began to pall.
Over to the right, past the nodding clowns and fairy floss stand she could see a glimpse of the animal pavilion.
She made her way towards the enclosure where several sheep were bleating loudly. She watched with fascination as the shearers yanked the sheep to the floor and bent over, backs glistening with sweat, as they defleeced the animals. The wool flew onto a nearby table. The demonstration followed the wool through the processes of classing then carding and spinning. Finally at the end of the shed, two ladies sat with the finished yarn. One knitting furiously, while the other sat at a loom producing a beautiful patterned material.
Melissa felt lonely, hungry and depressed. She glanced up and saw the map of the Showground not too far away.
What she needed was coffee.
She stared at the directions on the board until she found what she was looking for. She sidestepped a mother wheeling a stroller with a young child in it.
Suddenly an ice-cream landed in the middle of her new skirt. Melissa looked down at the stain as the strawberry melted into the material. The child began to cry. The mother apologized. She bit back a sob and pushed passed, not wanting to lose her temper, or let anyone see the tears that sprang to her eyes.
People bumped into her, a couple even yelled at her to watch where she was going. Finally, with relief, she saw the coffee shop ahead. She dashed in and sat down at the closest table. A waitress sauntered up.
“What’ya want?” she mumbled.
“Cappuccino, please.” Melissa answered. The coffee was boiling when the waitress tripped as she placed it on the table, and it spilled over the ice-cream stain.
Melissa had had enough. She stormed out of the coffee shop. She looked back at the sign above the dirty boards. “The Sunken Ship” was written in crooked, red letters. She’d remember the name of that place forever.
She couldn’t wait to go home!