The Iron Writer Challenge, Grudge Match #13

Grudge Match #13

Monday, November 24, 2014

The Grudgers:

Steven Bergeron


Dani J. Caile

The Judges:

Christopher A. Liccardi, Danielle Lee Zwissler, Alis Van Doorn, Mamie Pound


The Elements:

angry raccoon


A belligerent raccoon

The bubonic Plague

Half the story must be dialogue, half in description

Surviving a rainstorm without shelter

A Plagued Nation

Splish splash the marching sound of the Beiyang Army as they made their way down the drenched street of eastern China. Our search began upon the hills in search of the villains that plagued us for years. Hundred of great citizens had been fallen to their prey. These were not ordinary villains, that no they were belligerent rabid raccoons that had spread their plague through this entire nation.

The year was 1896 and our training field where full of naked body with swollen lymph nodes all laid in a row. Now here we were drenched to the bone on our mission to find the culprit responsible for this dreaded plague. From our knowledge there was only one solution to find the belligerent rabid raccoon before the numbers become astronomical.

“General Ming come in over.”

“Go ahead Sargeant what have you found on your end.”

“Not much there is no signs of any rabid animals or other bodies that seemed to be plague at this end. Should we continue on west.”

“You might as well there seems to be no sign of any destruction on this end. The North area is clear. If you say the south is then we should proceed on. They must be around here somewhere. The bodies don’t get that way on their own we must be dealing with some kind of rabid animal of some kind over.”

“As soon as we arrive to our destination we will dictate our findings.”

Days later on our journey there they were seating there all pretty awaiting our arrival.

“General Ming what is your exact location. I do believe we found are little critters.”

“We are about one mile North of the ridge of Canton . What is your exact location of your critter’s”

“Proceed another three quarters of a mile. You should then see what we are seeing. How shall we get rid of them.”

“Way till we get there! The only way to win this war is in unison. Simply keep a keen eye to make sure there is no more victims . “

“Ok but you better hurry I have a bunch a happy trigger fingers here that will due whatever is necessary to stop them in there track.”

“We can see you . Get ready. Attack.”

The final raccoon now laid to rest at our feet . There victims at the end were in the millions . Our Army of men had somehow survived I guess we didn’t stay still long enough for the plague to set in.The rain had finally let up our next mission was to get rid of the bodies. Then to rebuild the fields the crops and the lives. Return Canton back to civilization.   It will take years time we all had. Eastern China will never be the same only better. It is now the year 1912 and we were all ready for the next battle to defend our newest enemies two years later in world war 1. Our prediction another win.

A Right Piece of Work

Bumping into this guy was like rain sent from heaven, though the safe was still heavy. Talking of rain…

“Why did we stay outside in that damn storm without any shelter? I’m drenched!”

“We had to make some distance. Besides it’s good air…did…did you feel that?”

The guy dropped the safe and put an ear to the ground, coming back up muddy. He was one trunk short of an elephant. Josh let go of his end and sat down on the cumbersome thing.


“Must have been me, then. Sorry, I’m a bit jittery ’cause of this plague.”

He pointed a finger at Josh.

“Is…is that a rat you’ve got there…hey!” A large creature jumped out of Josh’s coat, clawing at the guy. “It’s a raccoon! Almost bit my hand off!”

Josh stroked his furry little friend. They made a good team, him stealing money, the other rummaging for food.

“Yes, he’s my pet. He’s usually quite friendly.”

“I beg to differ, mate.”


Mate? Searching through his pockets for scraps to feed his belligerent raccoon, Josh came across some flowers.

“Why are these in my pocket?”

“They’re posies, they are.”

“Nope, sorry, I don’t get it.”

“Precautions. Didn’t you see all those red crosses on the doors? And what about those kids back there?”

“What about them?”

The guy looked at him nervously as Josh scratched his head and neck, probably from the raccoon’s fleas.

“They were dancing in a circle and singing ‘Ring a Ring O’ Roses’.”

“That is strange.”

“Yeah, I thought so, too. You…can you…stop scratching?”

Josh’s raccoon showed its teeth and claws to the guy, causing him to take a step back.

“Violent thing….oh, what? See? You made me start now!”

They were all at it, including the raccoon, scratching away.

“I can’t help it..ah…ah…atishoo!” Josh sneezed, took out a handkerchief and blew his nose. The guy took another step back.

“Bless you.”


“Are you coming down with a cold?”

“Must have been the rain.”

“A bit of rain never hurt any…what’s that?”

This guy liked pointing. Now Josh’s groin was the object of scrutiny. First time in a while.

“What’s what?”



“That thing!”

Josh looked down. There was a larger than usual bulge in his trousers.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He smiled and gave a wink.

“I hope you’re just pleased to see me, ’cause…”

“Why, of course I am…but I feel a bit sick at the moment.”

Josh coughed and spat out some blood on the ground. Then he scratched a bit more.

“Stop scratching!”

“I can’t help it!”

“Stop…oh no, you’ve got it!”

The guy was now slowly walking backwards, eyes and mouth wide open.

“Yeah, baby, you know it…ah…ah…atishoo!”

“You’ve got bubonic plague!”

“Yeah, baby, I…wha…what?”

“Scratching, sneezing, lumps down…down there!”

“What? Lumps? Well, now you come to mention it…”


Screaming his head off, the guy ran away through the mud, arms waving about madly.

“Oi! The safe? Don’t you want your share of the money?”

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