The Iron Writer Challenge 105
500 Words, 5 Days, 4 Elements
Challenge 104 Champion
Written in Dr. Seuss Style
Any Dr. Seuss Character
Any machine from a Dr. Seuss book, not associated with the character you chose.
Any Dr. Seuss theme not associated with the character or machine
(what he was really saying in one of his books)
Post your guess who will win in the comments
(and tell us why!)
It’s a hard job selling green eggs and ham
All day I hear “no sir!” and “No ma’am!”
Another rejection, gave me the blues
When along came a Crunk car bearing good news.
“Hello,” Said the driver,
“I can tell you are weary.
So take my Crunk car and be cheery
in the wonderful land of Solla Sollew.
where there aren’t any troubles, at least very few.”
Leaving his Crunk car, he tossed me the key.
I’ll do it, I thought saying, “lucky me!”.
So I climbed in the car and it crunked along
to Solla Sollew as I hummed a sweet song.
When I got there my troubles were more than few.
The first person I met was named Sour Kangaroo.
She complained of her troubles back home in Nool
while I tried to rest at the edge of a pool.
“They find me annoying. I came here to stew!”
And the young kangaroo in her pouch said “me too!”
The next thing I know, I hear a ballump,
a whackering crack, and finally a thump.
I turn and I look, seeing a cat!
A rather large cat, wearing a hat!
The noise that I heard was the thing he was driving.
I couldn’t relax with that thing arriving.
Still less than peaceful, the sour kangaroo
suddenly hollered “WHAT DID YOU DO!?”
The machine the cat drove was a Super-Axe-Hacker
which could whack down four different trees at one smacker.
This wasn’t peace! I just wanted to rest.
Still I sat there hoping things worked for the best.
“That machine has a story, if you didn’t know.”
said the Sour Kangaroo as I thought here we go…
The kangaroo prattled a long, stressful breeze
about a whole land stripped of Truffula Trees.
“Don’t do that here, I beg of you!”
and the young kangaroo in her pouch said “Me too!”
The cat was livid, that I could see,
but before he could argue or disagree,
I let out a yell, a loud frustrated sound.
I shouted, “GWARRUMPH!” And they both looked around.
“Don’t you guys know this is Solla Sollew?
Where there aren’t any troubles, at least very few?
I came here to relax amongst trees that are tall!
I don’t want you to hacker them down to be small!
Trees can’t speak for themselves, but I can it’s true.
If need be, that’s just what I’m going to do.
Now let’s have some QUIET! Let’s all just PIPE DOWN!”
and I huffed my way back to my seat on the ground.
The cat, he looked sorry as sorry can be,
while the Kangaroo humphed and hopped off. Finally!
“I just wanted to see if it worked,” said the cat.
“Not destroy all the trees!” Said the Cat in the Hat.
So I smiled a smile and said “My name is Sam!
Let’s leave this place and eat green eggs and ham.”
The cat’s ears perked up, and I heard him say
“That’s what we should do. Let’s be on our way!!”
So we got in the Crunk car and off we crunked
And my mood that day was finally unfunked.
M. D. Pitman
There’s always good and bad when a parent passes.
They’re in a better place, but reminders are among the masses.
No fixer-up machines to clean the mess of emotions in your heart, soul and mind.
Just passing time, memories and family to mourn with you in kind.
Prayers are simple yet powerful … cheap yet full of wealth.
They’re not empty words, and can mend one’s mental health.
They heal the body, mind, soul, faith, and spirit.
Not just for you but for anyone who can hear it.
From baseball, basketball and Sam-I-am to the youngest among us, my father impacted hundreds — no thousands — of lives before he was called to be in God’s chorus.
His memory won’t fade, can’t fade. He was a legend among men so his legacy is made.
It’s neither malleable nor fleeting. It’s indelible, permanent … written mostly in blue and white from his heart and his passions are always bleeding.
He never allowed a person’s talent to be aimlessly roaming.
He’ll now and forever be the one … the only … Mr. Wyoming.
Dani J. Caile
I lay in the grass,
The sky so sky blue,
And I said, “Oh, my
I have nothing to do!”
“I don’t have a worry,
Not a care nor a woe.”
So I lay in the grass
With no arrows in my bow.
So all I did was
With nothing more to say.
Doing nothing the whole day.
And then something went CRASH!
Followed by a god awful SMASH!
I saw him!
That trouble and toil!
I saw him, I said,
“You make my blood boil!
Grinch, why are you here?
With that Bad-Animal-Catching-Machine?
Why are you here?
That thing’s so gross and obscene!”
“I want to catch Snagglyprinch,”
said the Grinch.
“I need their soup tails,”
said the Grinch, his grin mean.
“A lot of soup tails,”
said the Grinch with a gleam.
Then I stood up
From my stupor and rest.
And pointed a finger
At that insolent pest.
I shouted, “No! No!
You cannot do this hunt!
Those poor Snagglyprinch!
You should not try this stunt!
You go away now!
You go leave this place.
Or I’ll make a vow
To show off your disgrace!”
“Now! Now! Do not fret.
Don’t worry,” said the Grinch.
“This machine isn’t bad.
They won’t even flinch!
Why, I catch each one
And take off its tail
Without a whimper.
I’m not known to fail.”
I screamed “Stop it this instance!”
And took out my bow
I said “Keep your distance!
I won’t have this, no!”
“A bow?” said the Grinch.
“That will get you nowhere.
Here is my gun
And here is its pair.”
So with a gun in one hand
And a piece in the other,
The Grinch stood his ground
While I searched for another.
“So it’s war that you want?
It’s war that you need?
Well, here’s my new Uzi
That’ll sure make you plead!
I can mess you right up!
I can fill you with holes!
So big you’ll take in
A family of moles!”
“Oh please!” said the Grinch.
“With that little thing?
All it’ll give me
Is one little sting.
Now take this big blunderbuss
Kills six at one go.
Don’t you know?
Don’t you know?
I’ll make a nice lampshade
Outta your little head
So I think it is time
You took back what you said.”
I said “Look here, you Grinch
You haven’t won yet!
Why, I’ve still got bazookas
And howitzers set.
If you think you have upped me
Then chances that you
Will come to a sticky end
Stronger than glue!”
“Look here you young scondrel,
It was fun to start with
But now I will call up
My bestest best Sith!”
And we stood there together
Armed up to the teeth,
With shotguns and Uzis and swords
Out of sheaths.
We foamed at the mouth
And trembled with rage
Who was going to turn
The next page?
“Well,” said the Grinch,
“Perhaps I might think
Of doing this elsewhere.
But then again…” *wink*